So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
