Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize