I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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