I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
