my mouth tastes like poor choices
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
