i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
We need a shit load of segways right now
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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