So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Randomize