so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
