the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
