she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
