I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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