I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Farmville is her only friend.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
