Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
