Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
