What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
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