I accidentally had phone sex last night
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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