this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
