i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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