Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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