Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
so much tequila, so little girl.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
