This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
