chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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