looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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