I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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