Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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