So drunk its hurt
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
