He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
