so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
