i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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