so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
