...so i touched it.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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