Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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