what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
