Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
This baby is an asshole
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
