I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
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