Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Randomize
