so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
