I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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