called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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