just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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