Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
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