Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
