alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
