Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
So many bounce houses so little time
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
