she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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