How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize