the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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