i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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