The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
