So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
