Midget sex pt 2 tonight
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
