you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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