Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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