Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Enjoy the penises
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
