If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
