Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize