where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
This house was built for laser tag.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
