honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
