Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
