Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
